Have things become a little routine in your relationship? This is often the case for a couple who have been in a relationship for awhile. You have the same schedules, the same habits, and sometimes that can lead to an undesirable and complacent romantic life. But shouldn’t your life be a smoldering romantic story each day?
That would be nice, but there is something called real-life that tends to get in the way of that You need to work, clean, and be responsible! That certainly can take away from the fiery romantic lifestyle that you would prefer to have. But there are some things that you can do to spice up your love life and make each day with something new and have something that you can look back on and smile about.
Do a new “First” every day
Take your sweetheart and try something new every day. What should it be? It doesn’t really matter! You are breaking a routine that you would normally have and choosing to do something bold and adventurous instead! It could be something as simple as trying a new kind of ice cream, or as daring as sky diving. Different things will fit different people. Not everyone’s schedule can fit in a trip to Aruba, but the point is that you are breaking out of the mold and are making a concerted effort to start doing different things by choosing a new activity every day.
Here are some ideas:
-Try a different ice cream flavor
-Funny hat day
-Each of you order a meal for the other
-Bake a new dessert together
-Play laser tag
-Go to a new restaurant
Just have fun with whatever you two choose to do. Maybe you will decide that what you tried isn’t worth trying again, but you will have done something new and that can be fun just because you two are together
Relationships are all about compromise but there are some things that should never be lost in the shuffle. It’s easy to get too eager to please and allow the things that are really important slip by in misguided attempt to keep the peace. There are two major things that you should never compromise. They are honesty and respect. These go both ways. If you are honest with your partner then you should expect them to be honest with you.
Lies come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Sometimes they are inevitable but it’s up to you to be willing to recognize when a lie is something you should not bend on. A lie about who broke a glass is not as big a deal as a lie about where someone has been. In a relationship you should always strive for honesty. Never compromise on it if you make it clear to your partner that not even lies are okay they are less likely to tell bigger ones later.
Next is respect. It is equally important and without it a relationship can be like a punishment. Again respect goes both ways, if you don’t respect your partner eventually you will dislike them and maybe one day hate them. If they don’t respect you the same thing can happen. Respect isn’t what your grandparents and parents used to demand. It’s not about “Yes Sir” or “No Ma’am”. Respect is an attitude of esteem or admiration according to the dictionary. If a person doesn’t respect you they will not care about your opinions.
This doesn’t mean you always have to agree with each other it just means you each have to value one another’s opinion even if it is different. A good example would be if you told your significant other you wanted to say, open up a llama farm. They may not agree with you if they respect you they will discuss it. If they don’t respect you they will call you or it stupid or use some other derogatory term. Opening a Llama farm for most people would be a dumb idea but in a relationship showing respect for each other matters more.
If you’re in a relationship where you cannot respect your significant other or they don’t respect you that is not something to compromise on. You have to demand respect and if they won’t or can’t give it you should walk away. The same is true for honesty. It is a necessary foundation for a successful relationship. You can have honesty without respect but you cannot have respect without honesty. If you don’t have respect then really you don’t have much of a relationship. Now just because they don’t exist doesn’t mean they can’t as long as you address the problem you can try to work together to fix it. Respect and honesty are two things that you should not compromise on in a relationship.
For a successful romantic relationship, you should have just the right amount in common with you partner. Professional relationship therapists usually demonstrate this with a Venn diagram. People who have nothing in common are represented by two completely separate circles in the diagram, and couples who have too much in common are represented by circles that are almost directly on top of each other. You want to overlap about halfway. You don’t want to have nothing or common or you will end up fighting all the time, but you also don’t want too much in common.
Have you ever had a close friend who knew you well enough to finish your sentences and eventually it got very annoying? This is an example of how having too much in common cause one to lose interest or become upset. Couples who find themselves in the 40-60% range of things in common with each other complement each other nicely and have the highest success in maintaining a long-term relationship.
For example, one of you might be a little cleaner and the other one a little messier so one does more of the pick-up. Or to use another cleaning example; one of you may enjoy dusting but the other prefers washing dishes; but you both do laundry together. A common example of how people in a relationship with some things in common can complement one another is that one person focuses more on his/her career and the other focuses more on child rearing. You will note that most couples still maintain some of both but usually each partner will pick up one a little more then the other.
Sometimes you do things together, but sometimes you don’t and that can help a relationship be successful, because having some autonomy is important. Individuality keeps a couple feeling valued and from hearing the same stories over and over. In the end, having some things in common with your partner is about maintaining a balance between yourself and the relationship; both are important.
The adage “Distance makes the heart grow fonder” appears to be true for some while there are many who might refute this. That being said, one should keep in mind that for any relationship to thrive, the most important criterion depends largely on the sincerity of the commitment towards each other and not exactly the distance.
It is not impossible to make a long distance relationship work if both the partners involved are truly sincere about the relationship and work toward building it positively. Obstacles no doubt would be much higher in a long distance relationship but crossing the bridges together can help in nurturing and cementing the relationship for keeps.
In case you happen to be one of those in a long distance relationship then don’t get disheartened by the miles apart. You can surely make the relationship grow and remain connected provided you have the will and zest to work upon it. Disparity in time zones would have to be kept in mind and adjusted accordingly. Similarly keep a calendar so that you work out convenient dates for meeting up as and when time permits.
Make the most of time together
Make the most of long holidays by grabbing such opportunities to meet up. Plan out such schedules well in advance and book flight tickets early so that you are entitled to the discounted fares. Ensure that you and your partner are equipped with good internet connectivity so that you are able to video chat as and when you wish. Phone costs again would be high for partners in a long distance relationship but then you tend to spend lesser in other ways so spending it for those cherished phone chats is worth the effort.
Keep track of all those special dates and occasions and see to it that the gifts are dispatched well in time if you really want to remain committed to a long distance relationship. Make a habit of sending texts whenever possible as these help in reiterating the fact that in spite of the long distance the thoughts of the loved one are all encompassing within the heart.
Being raised in a large household, I know how difficult it is for parents to divide the household chores between themselves and their children. And since children have the tendency to fight over trivial matters, sometimes assigning a household chore is really a challenge. So, how are the parents able to assign household chores to their children without them fighting about it?
Consider the following suggestions: First, assign a chore depending on the child’s age. For instance, a child of 6 or 7 years in age can have the task of washing the dishes whereas a child between 8 to 10 years old may be given a slightly more difficult task like washing the clothes or cleaning the backyard. Of course, it will also help if the children will switch tasks every now and then.
In case a child has difficulty performing an assigned task, try to re- evaluate if he or she is indeed capable of that chore. There are also exceptions to these tasks, of course. Sick children, special (or autistic) children and children with other form of defects may be excused in doing such tasks. However, it is important that their sibling knows why they are excepted so that they will not argue with their sick brother or sister.
Next thing that you can do is assigning chores that you, yourself are doing. Lead by example by showing your children how it is properly done. By doing so, they will learn that doing these tasks are not really that hard. Lastly, talk to your children about the importance of hard work and patience. Advise them that this is their training ground because inevitably, they will have to work when they grow up. Giving them proper training at home will indeed prepare them to become the responsible adults of tomorrow.